Thursday, September 3, 2015

Your faith walks on broken glass...

So, I wrote this last night while I was drinking wine. I forgot to hit "Publish" because, wine. So, that.

Today was the last day of summer vacation.
I wanted the day to be full of magic.
I wanted it to be a day that PJ and I could enjoy the last little bit of freedom
 before we are back into the swing of things with school.
Instead,
 we started the day off with a haircut-
an auspicious start because PJ spent the rest of the day
being defiant and contrary.
He did get to spend the day with his cousins,
 splashing in a wading pool and eating donuts which,
by five-year-old standards,
seems like a pretty good day.
But he was pesty and wearing on my nerves and
 I found myself relieved when I tucked him into bed...
...and than immediately felt guilty for that feeling
and empty thinking about an entire school year stretched out ahead of us.
A school year, by the way, called Kindergarten.
This is the big leagues, folks.
And if this is the big leagues than this summer was his time in the minors.
We sacrificed a summer, our golden time with our only son,
 to spend a summer going to therapy.
I think we made the right decision.
I almost know we made the right decision.
Tomorrow, it will be in the hands of someone else,
 and I am nervous, mistrustful.
But my baby has worked hard this summer and
 he has so many new tools with which to build.
Bring it on.
PJ has grown and stretched again and always despite Autism,
 despite misunderstanding,
 despite the million and five mistakes every day as I try to mother
that subborn, blond, firey soul we created.

1 comment:

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

Good luck to PJ this year - big kindergarten guy!