Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Don't dwell on what has passed away or what is yet to be.

{raprapraprapraprap}

That's the sound of me slapping my hands with a ruler as punishment for being a bad blogger.

I have been in one of those abandon-hope-all-ye-who-enter-here kind of moods, the "all" being me. It's certainly not that I think you guys are missing anything because the Lord knows why you're here (kindness?).

I try to exercise and eat well because it makes me feel better- when I don't, I feel fat and sluggish and awkward. When I let myself fall out of the habit of writing, I feel the same way in my brain. I feel out-of-touch and disconnected from myself. With all of the general chaos and worry and FEELS in my life, I don't need any help getting on the train to Crazy Town. If writing is all it takes to keep me tethered to the Earth, then I need to get behind the keyboard, even if I have to drag myself there. There's generally a lot of blabber that comes along with this writing phase but, hey. I'll feel better. Truth be told, these past few weeks have seen all of my things-I-do-to-keep-myself-well have gone by the wayside. Hopefully, writing will get the rest of it moving.

Woo. That was bad. Hopefully, the better stuff will rise to the top soon.

In the meantime, I will mention that I have never been so eager for summer to come. Not even when I was a student myself, and I was not a school-y type of kid. This coming summer will look a lot different than the summers have since I became a mother (more on that another day) and even though I'm not sure how this chapter will go, I am ready to close the book on this school year. At the risk of sounding whinny, I had no idea how much a battle it would be, being the parent of a school-aged child with special needs. With PJ just about to start kindergarten, I feel like I am in no way capable of getting him to the finish line. I mean, I'll get him there. It just might be ugly.

So before this ends up being a mess, I am going to wrap up this post. It has served it purpose- it broke the dam that has been holding back my writing. Soon enough, God willing, something coherent will run through soon.

If you read this whole post you deserve a medal.