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Showing posts from February, 2015

If I just breathe...

Tonight, sharing the words of one of the many, many, many people who have said the things I think, but more beautifully and more succinctly and with perfection. Happens all the time...

... so, yeah, parenting is hard & beautiful,
and very, very hard & very, very beautiful
and sometimes you just get down on the floor & weep 
& there's no shame in it 
-- tears just saying we're loving deep.
Parenting is hard, not because we're getting it wrong, 
but because we're getting to do holy work  -- holy work *is* hard work.
That's the miracle of parenting: 
labor never stops & we never stop having to remember to breathe. 
And even the sound of our breathing is saying His name - YHWH.
And all the parents exhaled... and our every breath calls for You to come, Lord, please come -- Come help us to labor over these beloved children, that they'd deliver into the wide expanse of Your fulfilling grace -- 
& never forget their name: Beloved.

-Ann Voskamp
Oh, this amazi…

My feelings swell and stretch...

Today was a very Monday-ish Monday.  It kind of felt like yesterday was Monday and  Since two Mondays in a row would be a horrible idea that  should give you some insight into my mood.  I did not get a spot on the Listen To Your Mother Show. This was not a shock and was merely a scratch  on this rash of a day.  Auditioning was a fantastic experience and there is always next year.  PJ was tired this morning.  There wasn't much fire in him today and somehow,    that bums me out more than when he's all fire.  I think a good nights sleep will fix that, along with   a return to the routine the long weekend/snow interrupted. We are trying to have PJ's ABA therapy re-instated  after a horrible experience that caused us to end our relationship  with the agency we had previously used.  Now, we are back in the Spiral of Rediculousness that is   dealing with the insurance company.  The back and forth of trying to figure out who is in network who is not who has the information regard…

Just a day...


...had an amazing, yet harrowing experience with my friend Mary Beth yesterday, as we traveled to South Orange, NJ to audition for Listen To Your Mother, an amazing show put on in nearly 40 cities featuring women reading their original writings. While I certainly don't think I will earn a spot in the 2015 cast, it was a great experience to have the chance to read in front of an audience. Of all the times I have been on stage, this is the first time that I had to be myself, not a character. I enjoyed the chance to be vulnerable in that way. The not-so-fun part? Braving the New Jersey Turnpike through a snowstorm, which stretched an hour and a half drive to nearly four. Oy, vey.

...the weather was vastly improved today, with the sun shining as we said goodbye to a very dear family friend. Jerry and his wife Sandy have been close friends of my aunt forever- I have known them all of my life. Jerry is a sweet guy, funny and kind and a huge fan of the Flyers. We would discuss t…

Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair...

{stream of consciousness}

Autism can rear it's head at the most inconvenient times, none so much as at a family gathering to celebrate the birthday of my niece.

Newly 11 and lovely as can be, Riley is one of the best kids I have ever met. PJ adores her. We arrived at the party with a bag filled with UnderArmor and birthday wishes for this beautiful girl.

The kids (all 9 cousins, ages 1-13) played, presents were opened, and soon enough dinner was ready to be served. PJ might have been fine with dinner had he not spied the cupcakes, but once they were in his vision it was all he wanted. Lasagna and sausage, usually a favorite, were rejected as he repeatedly asked for a cupcake. His request became more and more urgent and a few minutes later, he was in Complete System Failure, punching my arms and pulling my hair while he sobbed and gasped for air. I walked him out of the dining room to the hall, trying to contain his flailing limbs and calm with with deep, firm hugs.

PJ's face wa…

Ooooooooo, you're my best friend.

My cat, Gordie, was already almost ten years old when PJ was born. I got her when I was in college and living with my college boyfriend, a doomed relationship that only lasted another year or so after we acquired our fur-baby.

I got Gordie in the break-up, and she has been my companion for nearly 15 years now. She was there well before Pete and certainly before PJ, and now, PJ seems to think she is his cat. Once he was old enough to notice, she became his instant buddy.

 Gordie is not a friendly cat. She's the type of cat who loves her owner and tolerates other people. Barely. She loathes my friend Adam for some reason. She will flat out growl at him. She's not really the type of cat that you can pet or snuggle or glance at or be nice to. She's a grouchy girl, that Gordie. Her namesake is Gordie Howe, the legendary Detroit Red Wing's great (and my dad's hero) and she is a tough as he is! Tough, but not super friendly.

PJ can sometimes snuggle her with a little too …

Yeah, you know me...

We are 3/4 of the way through a 4-day weekend, and today was the first we have ventured outside since Thursday. In fact, PJ and I didn't wear real clothes for two straight days (although I did make him wear fresh jammies when he woke up and after his bath). We are having insanely cold weather in these parts, and hunkering down inside seemed like the only proper response to Mother Nature.

Today, we had a great reason to get up and move- a birthday party for a friend of PJ's, the son of my sweet friend Christine. Christine and I were set up on a "blind date" buy a mutual therapist of our kids (Hi, Jen!) and hit it off right away. I am so thankful for her amazing encouragement and glad that our boys have so much in common! So the plan was to gather up our gifts and venture out into the freeeeeeeeezing weather, headed towards a local bounce place to fete our buddy Nicky.

But we were late. Why? Because PJ did not want to wear a shirt.

I shit you not. Ten minutes before we…

Excuse me, but can I be you for a while?

(sponsored) A few weeks ago, I had fun playing with the One Day- Instant Movie Maker app on my iPhone. Super simple and fun to use, One Day takes movie clips recorded on your phone and weaves them together with music and graphics to create a short movie! It is perfect for putting together a sweet Valentine's Day movie for your honey, or shoot some footage of your little one to send to the grandparents. It's so easy, I was able to make this video even though my hair looked terrible!

I made my One Day movie on my iPhone, but fear not, Android users! The One Day app is now available to you! Just download it from the Google Play store for free! Then you can use the app to make a movie about awesome free stuff is!

Enjoy the One Day app!

{stream of consciousness} 
You all should know that every time I do one of these posts, I misspell consciousness. 
Today was a lazy day for PJ and I, much needed because he capped a busy week with an all-night party Wednesday …

You just keep on keepin'...

{...things on thursday}

...PJ had his first classmate birthday party this past weekend! When we started school this year, his first in an inclusion setting, I wasn't sure if that would happen for him. But I watched all of his little school friends bounce around a local inflatable playground, laughing together and just spilling guys. My heart. If we stay in our town, PJ will be in school with these kids for many years and many grades and, for the first time, the idea warmed to me.

...Pete has been working very hard over the past few weeks. On top of all of the hours he has taken on, he had been embroiled in a grievance with his managers over the new schedule his floor is adopting next week. A number of the nurses on the floor felt that they were being treated unfairly, and as the union rep, Pete had to go all Norma Rae and try to make amends. Thankfully, everyone was able to come to a mutually agreeable change, and Pete's new schedule is not only fair, but very…

I can't help myself...

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Target. I remember admiring something in my cousin Meredith's apartment and asking where she got it (she's far more stylish and put together than I am, so this was the type of info I needed to remember).

"Tarjay," she answered in a vaguely French-ish accent.

"I'm sorry. Where?'

{sigh} "Target."

I had no idea what she was talking about. It would be many years later until the red bulls-eye would become a main fixture in my world. Target became my go-to for cute clothes, magazines, make-up and toiletries. When Target introduced groceries, my life became complete. There was no reason, ever, to go anywhere but Target. There can only be one, and it's Target. Forever and ever, Amen.

Target has served as a magnet for my money ever since. What was an already-frequent stop for me turned into a thrice-weekly event upon PJ's birth. The need for the store-brand diapers and wipes that we used kept us there on the…

Turn the page...

I have been a big reader for as long as I can remember. When I was pregnant with PJ, I started stockpiling books before I bought him one article of clothing. Titles that I had always dreamed of reading to my child were sitting on the shelves of his bookcase, waiting for his arrival.

Thankfully, PJ loves books as much as his mama. We haven't missed a bedtime story more than a handful of times in his five years of existence. When he was a baby, he would listen intently to the story. Now, he is able to read simple books on his own. If I have nothing else to offer him from my side of the genetic pool, I hope that he has my reading skills and love for books.

PJ has nearly 300 books in his collection, but right now, these are his favorites! For more on the importance of reading to your children, visit Reading is Fundamental!