Thursday, February 27, 2014

Oh, they're weird and they're wonderful...

10 Reasons I Am Weird {things on thursday}

1. I'm a little bit afraid of balloons. If I am in close proximity to balloons I am always a bit on edge. I don't know when it was, but as some point in my life, somebody snuck up behind me and popped a balloon behind my head. The noise startled me, of course, but it also blew out my eardrum, leaving me with a ringing, clogged-up feeling ear for the rest of the day. Ever since then, I just can't deal with balloons.

2. I don't like when my food touches on my plate. I have a few things that are allowed- for example, turkey, stuffing, potatoes and gravy can be on the same plate at Thanksgiving because they taste good when they mix and there are no strange texture issues. Salad must have its own plate, lest the dressing mix with other food items. Anything runny, such as pasta with sauce or a side dish like cole slaw, which could also potentially mix with other foodstuffs needs its own plate. You know those toddler dishes that have three or four separate compartments? If Crate and Barrel made a gown up version in a cute patterns I would buy that shit up like gangbusters!

3. I can't sleep with anything on my legs. No pajama pants, shorts, or even socks. I have restless legs when I sleep and the feeling of anything on my legs exacerbates that uneasy feeling. I am pretty much a tee-shirt/Old Navy tank top and undies type of sleeper, even when it's freezing.

4. After a shower, I need to be completely and totally dried off before I start getting dressed. I can't stand the feeling of being wet under my clothes (that's what she said!). In her book "Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life" (a favorite of mine!), Amy Rosenthal writes about how she is in an opposite camp, and likes to move on to getting dressed right from the shower, leaving her skin feeling damp under her clothes. I shudder a little bit every time I read that passage.

5. Speaking of books, it is important to me to take great care of mine. There is no dog ear-ing of pages, no using the dust cover flap as a book mark, and no use of a bookmark thicker then a piece of paper. In college, I had to buy all of my textbooks new because a highlighted, written in book is just. too. much. Also speaking to that, my college textbooks were in pristine condition when I completed a class. I don't even like to take books from the library because I don't like the soft, limp feeling of page that has been turned too many times. All of this adds up to the fact that I spend way too much money on books. It's a sickness.

6. Pete felt the need to make sure I write down the way I eat pretzels, which is to nibble the salt off first and then consume the rest of the pretzel. He also takes umbrage with the way I eat a PB &J, which is to rip off pieces of it and consume it bit by bit. For the record, that's the only sandwich I eat that way. Any other sandwich would fall apart if I did that.

7. I can't sing and chew gum at the same time- to be honest, I have a hard time speaking with gum in my mouth. I like to think it's a testament to the hard work and constant vigilance of my high school vocal music teacher!

8. I can not stand wearing shoes without socks, including Uggs (but not sandals and flip-flops, of course.). As a teen I had sweaty feet, which is an affliction that I have since outgrown, but old habits die hard. I have small feet, which makes it a challenge to find socks that fit well and don't bunch up/slide down my foot with my shoe on. I generally end up buying socks from the tween section, which means I have many, many pairs of socks with stripes, peace signs, sayings like "text me!" and bright patterns.

9. And while we're talking about feet...I hate them. PJ is rapidly approaching an age where his feet will turn from adorable to terrifying. There is a scene in Kill Bill- Volume Two in which Uma Thurman plucks out Daryl Hannah's eyeball, and then she throws it on the ground and squishes it with her toe!!!!!! (I actually hate eyeballs, too. Gross.) I was pretty much in the fetal position for the rest of the movie. And God forbid Pete touch me with one of his Calloused Toes of Death while we are in bed. Instant argument. I know it's a completely unreasonable dislike, but feet are gross and ugly and God would not have invented cute shoes if He wanted us to look at them.

10. This is a local quirk for sure, but I hate panzarottis. For those of you who aren't from this area or are healthy eaters and don't know, a panzarotti is a deep fried pizza pocket. Not be confused with a stromboli or calzone, which are baked, a panzarotti is deep fried to give the crust a very crisp outer layer and melty innards of cheese, sauce, and typical pizza toppings. The holy grail of panzarottis is a Tarantini Panzarotti, a staple of unhealthy eaters all over New Jersey and a very few, very select other states. My fellow New Jersey-ans eat up that stuff like its going out of style. Which it's not. At any rate, there is no reason in the world that I shouldn't love them, as they hold the Holy Trinity of nutritional standing for me- cheese, dough, and a deep fryer. But I hate them.

1 comment:

~Dawn~ said...

I love these kinds of posts! Kind of a 'getting to know you'! A fun read - and I s laughed at many of them, including the PB & J.. I do this! Not big on the panzarotti either. I prefer a pizza turnover or stromboli. Some people think they're all the same - So not.