(I just went over what I wrote and it makes no sense. But whatevs. I'm hitting Publish. I'm a rebel like that.)
It's a Friday night, and I have all of the lights out, a yummy smelling candle lit, and a cup of coffee. And to add to the tranquility, I'm watching "Say Yes to the Dress- Atlanta".
This writing project I have embarked on has been cathartic for me. While a few of these posts had been written a while back, it is the first time I have been willing to truly lay myself open to my feelings about PJ's autism diagnosis. It's been a little over a year since his diagnosis, and I have learned so much, with a lifetime of things to learn before me.
Today, we woke to gray skies and spring rain. The morning was busy- I was meeting a friend for coffee, reading to PJ's class, and then returning to school later for PJ's IEP. I had forgotten to pack PJ some money, so he could get a treat at the school bake sale (being held to benefit Autism Speaks in honor of Autism Awareness Month). I rushed to school before I met my friend with 75 cents in an envelope with his name on it. I knew that if PJ saw cupcakes and couldn't get one, it would be bad news. I made my way through the rain to meet my friend for coffee, then it was back to school to read to PJ's class. That is always so much fun- the kids are so cute and funny!
I brought PJ home for lunch, and he was
With PJ's train tracks built and all of my paperwork together, I logged on to MyAutismTeam.com to write a quick "vent" post ("OMG! The trains! The headache! The IEPs! The rain!") and then glanced at my Facebook feed, only to find the story of a mama and dad who will say goodbye to their five year old son tonight. Their young Gavin suffered a seizure and went into cardiac arrest, and were just waiting for the official results of testing to let them know that their son was brain dead. I quickly logged back in to MyAutismTeam.com to amend my vent post:
You know what? Everything I just said? Forget it. In a milisecond I forgot what an amazing gift it is to raise my son. I know not every moment is sunshine and rainbows, but PJ is here with me in his perfectly imperfect little blonde, cyclonic body! Please, please, send this mama your prayers and love and warrior vibes...