"Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn..."


A cancelled therapy session on Tuesday prompted an impromptu trip to the beach, and it was wonderful! The weather was beautiful, my little family was together, and we splashed in the ocean, dug in the sand, strolled in the streets and played at the playground my husband grew up playing at. Pictures to come.


Marla's father in law had a cardiac catharization to remove a blockage from his arteries after a mid heart attack. The procedure was done today and not a moment too soon- while his heart attack was (thankfully) mild his blockage was not. It was a 99% occlusion of a vital artery. If left for much longer the results could have been disastrous. So thankful that it was cleared before more permanent damage was done, and that he could go home today with his risks greatly lowered.


It's been a very long time since I bought myself clothes, and what I do have is essentially disintegrating off of my body. I know I don't care about clothes, but even I know it's time to get my ass to Old Navy and buy a damn pair of jeans.


Our troubles with PJ's DI services continue. Today, the third therapist to be referred to us called two hours before her scheduled arrival time (for what was to be her first visit) inform me that she had to cancel in order to attend an IFSP meeting for another family. As those types of meetings are scheduled well in advance I'm not entirely sure how she didn't know this when she made the appointment with us. She told me that she would call to reschedule when she was not driving and had her calender in front of her. She never called. Needless to say, I have reached the end of my patience.


What else can you do when you're frustrated but take your favorite toddler out for a Mommy/PJ frozen yogurt date. I had a bowl of something that tasted just like those lemon Girl Scout cookies and PJ enjoyed vanilla sprinkled liberally with gummi bears and sprinkles. He behaved beautifully and wielded his spoon like a champ and smiled at me as he declared his treat to be a "yummy snack!" I just looked at his little face, sitting across the table from me, and felt my heart fill with love. He's such a big boy and I just love him so.


I can hardly believe it's nearly the end of August. I just don't know where this summer has gone. But, as usual per this time of year, I find myself ready for the fall. I'm longing for open-window weather and trees with firery red leaves and jeans and sweatshirt weather. It is, without a doubt, my favorite time of year. I'm already dreamng of PJ's Halloween costume!


My mammogram? Clear! (More on that later)


Bedtime? Now. Good night, friends. <3>

"Sundays were made for this..."

My little corner of NJ is in the midst of the most delicious, open-window weather and I am loving it! Warm, humidity-free days and cool, sleeping-weather nights have been the theme for the weekend and despite it being Pete's weekend to work, it's been a lovely one!

There has been a craft fair this weekend in our town, shutting down the main road to make way for vendors to showcase their wares, ranging from cute to gorgeous, quirky to practical. Bars made from wine barrels, tutus for the tinniest of baby girls, ropes of amazing, beaded jewelry, sculptures made from nails- there was so much to see and before Pete had to get to sleep for work yesterday we gleefully window-shopped as a family.

Before that, PJ and I spent a happy hour making roads and bridges with his blocks, making each other laugh with our varied "vroom vroom"-type noises. His play skills are evolving and it's so much fun to watch! He's still pretty far behind, but always moving forward and that's all we can ask for. Spending time playing with my son, as he he pushes cars along a block road ("roomroomroomroomroom") fills my heart so much that I can't imagine anything more.

This morning PJ and I (Pete had to sleep off his shift from last night) met up with my parents, sister, and bro-in-law at our usual local haunt. My dads softball schedule had interfered with our usual Sunday breakfast date, but with his season done (they lost in the finals. Boo.) we all met up again for coffee and chat and general together-ness. Even PJ behaved like an angel and talked up a storm! Er, well, he behaved like an angel once he got some food into him. I had given his a bowl of Lucky Charms as a pre-breakfast, but as he only picked out the marshmallows, he was hungry and in a fling-crap-from-the-table mood until he got some pancakes and sausage in front of him. Then it was all angelic, pancake-filled smiles and enthused declarations of how "MMmmmmmm, YUMMY!" the food was.

There were walks and trips to the playground and repeat appearances at the craft fair. PJ got tons of fresh air, kettle corn (we swung by the Farmers Market), room to run and time with family. And he's been asleep about forty seconds after I've tucked him into bed these past few nights. Win.

It's been a quiet, comforting, restful weekend, and just what we all needed before we jump back into the fray of the week and are neck deep in therapies and house work and all of the things that pull at us. This includes another call to the agency that's (not) providing PJ's Developmental Integration therapy. And this time, I'll be using the Big Voice. It's on.

Wish me luck, friends.

"Bother me tomorrow, today I'll buy no sorrows..."

Today was one of those days.
PJ was in a very cranky, Hulk-Smashy mood
all. day. long.
Still, I shouldn't complain, since the stuff
that I thought would really suck
giant donkey gonad
this week ended up being great!
Our first meeting with the Child Study Team went very well.
His teacher is young and cute and seems very nice.
We will meet with her a few more times before school starts for PJ!
The team was very easy to work with and all in all
Pete and I were pleased with how it went.
The dentist was also a success!
PJ was scared out of his mind,
and cried. Loudly.
But he wasn't combative and cooperated with the exam.
The hygienist and the dentist handled him beautifully-
I was super impressed.
PJ was declared to have great teeth
(something I felt inordinately proud of)
and a healthy mouth, and will be a
when he goes back in 6 months!
For now, that baaaaad baby is
tucked into bed
and his Mama is trying to muster up the strength
to get some crap done around the house
before I follow suit. 
I'll need all the rest I can get
before I have to grapple again with  the agency
that has (not)provided PJ's (absentee) therapist.
So, with all of that ahead of me...
Good night.

"I believe that just surviving was a noble fight..."

It's Monday. Whatever.

Thus far, the week has been pleasant enough, but it's still early and there's still lots to do, including our first meeting with the child study team and PJ's first trip to the dentist!

Oh, yeah. I said dentist. We can't get around it- he needs a dental exam for school. Bah. The receptionist asked me how he's behaved (seriously? He's two!??!) and I told her honestly, it's either going to be awesome or horrible. Since it's his first trip to see the dentist I don't really have a litmus test. So, we're going to jump in with both feet and see how it goes.

Hold me.

Tomorrow is our first meeting with the child study team, so we can plead our case for having PJ evaluated to participate in a special needs preschool program. Despite my reservations about PJ going to school as a whole (I am going to miss my baby!) I know it's the best and most productive place for him once he turns three, so we need to get him there. I have the obligatory stacks of paperwork ready to go, and I am feeling a bit on edge- it took a lot to not pick fights with Pete over stupid crap in my nervousness today! I have heard horror stories from parents and guardians who have not seen eye-to-eye with the child study team in regards to their child's schooling and care. Thankfully for those I love but unfortunately for us, we don't have any friends in a similar situation right now and really, nobody to ask. So while he have the support of PJ's therapy team right now, we're going in blind and we're as ready as we'll ever be, but still, my nerves are shot.

It doesn't help that we are having trouble with part of PJ's therapy. His Developmental Integration therapist left in late June when her beautiful son arrived a month early! She had been with us for nearly 9 months and did an amazing job with PJ. We were sad to see her go but so happy for her growing family! It took a few weeks to replace her, and on our first day with the new therapist, she arrived over half an hour late and spent another 10 minutes outside of our apartment, arguing with someone over the phone. I was, to put it nicely, not impressed. And I wasn't shocked when, after one more session with this therapist, I received a call that she was "no longer with the company". Frig. A few days later I got a call from a new therapist who set up our first session for the next week. I waited for 10, 20, 40 minutes past our arranged time and...nothing. She didn't show up! No phone call, and didn't answer or return mine. I wanted to make sure she wasn't squashed on the side of the road somewhere, so I made a call directly to the agency, which yielded these results:

Agency: So....you do know that {original therapist} hasn't been with the company for quite some time, so I'm not sure why there would have been a visit arranged.

Me: {excessive eye rolling and swearing in my head}. Yes, I know that, since she had a baby. The therapist in question is actually our second attempt at finding someone to replace our original therapist. She called me to arrange a time for therapy and never showed up today.

Agency: Well, we will follow up and have someone return your call.


No. Really. That was it. I never heard back from the therapist or the agency. So, PJ has been missing a therapy that is part of his IFSP for what's going on a month and a half. PJ's awesome service coordinator is on the case now, and with it now in her capable hands I am hoping for resolution shortly. Because I am growing increasingly aggravated. Grrrrr.

So, as usual, I end this blog post with a mere thirty minutes left in the day and a number of things to get done before I head to bed. So with all of this off my chest...

Good night!

"It's Friday I'm in love..."

Friday Happys
(a few weeks ago, my sister mentioned on her blog that , on Fridays, people tend to
write about  what makes them happy.  Here's what made me happy this week!)

  1. Those Target  commercials with the people singing about the stuff kids need for Back-to-School! Backpacks and Jeans!
  2. PJ singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" all by himself!
  3. Pete having a few days off from work, even if it mainly means that he can keep PJ happy while I catch up on housework. And...ahem...so we can spend some time together.
  4. I am ashamed to admit this, but....watching "Here Comes Honey Boo".* Especially because I watched it while I talked to Marla on the phone! And especially because we laughed so hard while we watched it I almost peed my pants. I definitely laughed so hard I cried.
  5. Actually, "...Honey Boo Boo" made me so happy I'm listing it twice. Don't judge.
  6. While it was for sad reasons (to be told at another time), I got to catch up with family today, and that's always wonderful.
  7. Halfway decent sales this week at the supermarkets!
  8. My dad, my sister, and my dad's cousin Eileen celebrating birthdays this week!
  9. PJ's awesome Early Intervention service coordinator, Kim! I heart her. When things go stupid she's all "I will fix that!".
  10. Coffee. Coffee, today, tomorrow, and forever.
*Click that link. You need to see this shit. Seriously.

"This is the view from the other side..."

Mumbled Monday (Night) Musings


There's actually less then an hour left of this first August Monday. PJ was asleep approximately 6.3 seconds after I laid him down to bed (the result of a busy day without a nap) and, night time coffee in hand, I declared myself ready to tackle my very large "To-Do Before Bed" list. I quickly lost my momentum as I allowed myself to be distracted by Facebook, the Olympics, and the new Parents magazine I got today- all while I slipped the aforementioned coffee. So shit was getting done, just v.e.r.y.s.l.o.w.l.y. Blogging was on my list, though, so this is okay. Laundry is done, living room is mostly straightened, dishwasher is loaded, and the paperwork I have to drop off at PJ's pediatrician is ready.

The realization that PJ will be going off to school in just a few short months is throwing me for a loop. Just a glimpse of a back-to-school ad or the previews of the fall clothing lines can send me into a half-panicked, half-tearful frenzy. It is hitting me that my days of playing with PJ all day- going on adventures, meeting with friends, spending slow, giggly breakfasts- are coming to a close and it will be all too soon that I will wave goodbye to my best Boy for a few hours every day.(And yes, I am sure there is someone out there who will laugh at my whining, since I have been lucky enough to be home with PJ instead of working.) My rational self knows that school will be amazing for him, and that not only will he thrive, but he will love it! But my little Mommy heart just isn't ready to share my baby with the world yet.

Our family received some sad news- my dad's cousin Jerry passed away suddenly while he was in California visiting with his daughter and grandkids. My dad grew up with Jerry- they are just a few years apart- and over the past year or two, I have been able to connect with him through the magic of Facebook. Jerry was quite a character, and often posted topics ranging from his opinions on politics to teasing notes about his children or grandchildren. My favorite posts were when he would arrange breakfast gatherings at a place called Tiffany's Diner. He referred to it as "Breakfast With the Characters" and it always made me laugh. Jerry and his wife Susan even made it down for my dad's 70th birthday celebration last year. I called my father to express my sympathy and to make sure he was okay, and he talked about how few of his family is left. He admitted to me that he thought his own time was 21 years ago, when he was diagnosed with leukemia. He has since beat that twice over, a victory in itself, and yet, I'm sure, somehow bittersweet. What a strange, beautiful blessing to live a long, full live but have to lose the ones you love. When my Mom-Mom lost her best friend, Connie, there was something missing, right up until her own passing so many years later. I'll be keeping a careful and watchful eye on my dad.

Pete and I went on a date last night, sans Toddler. I absolutely hate leaving him, but Pete was right. We needed a night out. Pete secured baby-sitting and let me know that this date was happening, so it was all I could do but to slap on some makeup and head out to dinner. We went to a local brewery, had calamari that blew.my.mind, it was so delicious, and relaxed at home together the rest of the night. I slept until EIGHT O'CLOCK! When we went to get PJ, his face lit up when he saw us and with cries of "Daddy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommymommymommy!" he jumped up and ran to us for hugs( a reaction I thought for sure would be robbed of us by Autism. But, some things are just more powerful. So, screw you, Autism. PJ missed us! )!

And now, there are only 15 minutes left of Monday and still one more item to cross of my To-Do list.

Goodnight, friends.

"These silly little wounds will never mend, I feel so far from where I've been..."

I can hardly believe that it's already August. The summer is very nearly over and I just don't even know how that happened! There's really only a month left of potential beach days, pool time, evening walks, air conditioning (I actually won't miss that at all!), play dates, sun after 8pm, water ice for dessert, and a perpetual layer of sunscreen on my transparent Toddler.

We have Olympic fever in our house...er, well, I do, anyway. PJ has only shown a fleeting interest in the activity on screen ("Swimming!") and Pete was switching to the Phillie's game in the middle of the men's gymnastic all-around finals the other night. What. The. Hell? The Phillie's can (and will) loose anytime, this is the olympics!. The competitions have been so exciting and the stories of these athletes amazing. Google Kayla Harrison, or John Orozco. Do it. They are stories to know.

Last week was a little like an Olympic even for me in that it was a lot to handle and took tons of energy. Thankfully, this week has been a bit more kind. My insomnia is even giving me a little break, which is wonderful! Pete and I still haven't made it out on a date yet like I had hoped but, all in all, it's been okay.

Oh, I almost forgot- there was one little snafu. You may remember how I mentioned that PJ's therapist for Developmental Integration had her beautiful son a month early. The good news is that her sweet little man is healthy and wonderful, but the bad news was that she was leaving us even sooner then we had planned. We were assigned a new therapist, and it took forever to get everything in order. We finally do, and after two visits with her I receive a call from PJ's EI coordinator letting me know that the new therapist "is no longer with the company." I can only assume that means she was fired. To be honest...I didn't really care for her, so it's a bit of a  blessing in disguise. But, PJ has only had two sessions of DI in the past five weeks, and that stresses me out. I want to get every bit out of our time left with Early Intervention before PJ starts school (sob!) and this is wasting time.

Speaking of wasting time...I wanted to go to bed at ten and it's now 11:24pm. Damn Olympics. Midnight it is.

Goodnight, friends!