Monday, August 15, 2011

"If you're feeling certain feelings that just don't seem right, treat those pesky feelings like a reading light..."

Oh, friends.

I know I have been an terrible blogger. Completely MIA.

I'll explain a little something about myself. I love to be there for my friends and the people I love. I can listen to problems long into the night, and if I don't have anything helpful to say (I usually don't have anything helpful to say) I just try to be there in whatever way I can. I like to help. It makes me happy. It, somehow, fills a need of my own.

When I need help...well, I just need. I'm not talking about little things like if I need someone to watch PJ for a bit or I want to borrow a pair of shoes (hi, Marla!). I can bug someone to find out what to use to clean my acrylic tub or ask for couponing advice (hi, Michelle!). But if there is something that is truly weighing my heart down, something really on my mind, I just click everything off. I don't talk about it and I usually avoid anyone who might lull me into feeling comfortable enough to spill my guts. Which is pretty much everyone I love. Pete hears a lot of it, mainly because I can't escape his concern since I live with him and all. I used to even blog about what was heavy on my heart because it was super passive-aggressive. It was a way to get everything out without having to actually face everybody.

It's just that lately, I sit down to blog and I just...have...nothing. And it's not to say that it hasn't been a fabulous summer. We have swam and vacationed and played and walked. The days, thought friggin' hot, have been full of friends and family and fun. And PJ...oh, that baby boy of mine! He eats like a horse and climbs like a squirrel and makes me smile every. single. day. He's so funny and sweet and energetic and even when I'm down, I know what a blessing he is to me!

Look at this face. That's the face of a blessing.


He loves to sit in the bottom drawer.

The things that are on my mind...I'm not drowning. I am fully riding the waves, seeing all the beautiful things around me. I just can't seem to open up.

Hopefully, I'll be back to my regularly scheduled programing soon.

Goodnight, loves.

3 comments:

Meggan said...

I hear ya. It happens to us all. I'm sure we will still be here when you get back:)

Jenn said...

I'll be here when you get back. Of course, you can always call me anytime!

lostandforgotten said...

Totally get it.

Well I'm glad that you're not drowning, but just actively choosing to keep it in!