Skip to main content

"It's funny how we feel so much..."

A funny thing happened on the way to clean the kitchen tonight.

And yes, I know it's funny that I was cleaning in the first place! But this year I am allllllllll over this "turning over a new leaf" shit. And by leaf I mean a broom and sponge. The kitchen has been in a normal, not gross state for two weeks now, which is some sort of record in my very messy little world. But, I digress.

I emptied out a little cabinet in our living room to make room for storing PJ's toys, and in it found a gift bag filled with a bunch of random cards, notes, and other nonsense. Tonight when I was cleaning up from dinner, I opened up the bag and started reading the cards, and found a stack of sympathy cards that many of my friends sent when my brother-in-law Greg passed away in October of 2008. The notes were sweet and sad and touching and they instantly brought me back to saying goodbye to funny, laid-back, 36-year-old Greg.

 Pete and I had only been married a few months when Greg passed- he had stood as a groomsman in our wedding, although by then he was very, very sick. At the time, we didn't think things were ever going to be good or normal or right again. Pete's sister Shelly, my amazing friend and someone I consider a sister as if we were blood, was left to mother their three beautiful girls (at the time ages 6, 4, and 2) alone. We were all at a loss as to how to handle this terrible thing.

Greg has been gone for two years now. We have all somehow managed to keep getting through his loss, and I marvel at the strength of my sister every day. It's not an easy thing, but I don't look at Shelly and her daughters and see a piece missing first- now, I see those funny, sassy girls and my ridiculously gorgeous, stylish sister and then remember that someone is missing. That's mostly due to Shelly and how hard she works to make sure her girls are happy, healthy, and loved. I don't always know what the future hold for them, but they are loved.

The other night, we had tucked PJ into bed and could hear him babbling away to himself over the baby monitor. His babbling turned into the sweetest fit of baby laughter I had ever heard, and I brought the monitor into the other room so Pete could hear. I wondered aloud what on earth could be making PJ laugh like that, and Pete suggested that he was talking to Uncle Greg.

How awesome would that be?

Comments

That's so touching! I'm glad you shared this about your loss. It's encouraging to see how time can start to heal some of the pain & emptiness left after someone close to you passes on.
Jenn said…
Why do you want to make me cry so early in the morning? That's a beautiful post. Loss is so hard.

Popular posts from this blog

My LTYM Experience or How I Accidentally Ended Up On A Stage

The final chapter of my participation in the Listen To Your Mother Show ended with our live performances. I turned 39 on May 3rd and on May 7th, I was on a stage at the beautiful South Orange Performing Arts Center with 12 other souls  (as well as our incredible producers, Sandy, Brooke and Deborah) that handily out-shined the beauty of the space. It all still feels as if it may have been a dream. A very gratifying, emotional dream.

It ended the same way it began, with my worrying about clothes. Before our first rehearsal, I was stressing out knowing that the next morning, I would be meeting a room full of strangers. Not only that, I would be taking a cast picture with these strangers and reading a story of the worst moments of my life. It seemed like too much to be vulnerable about my story and about my precarious self-esteem at the same time.

Despite all of that, I got into my car on a Saturday morning, armed with coffee and the soundtrack to "Hamilton." Clad in the pink a…

Maybe I'm An A-Hole, But I'll Pass On The Pity Date

Do not hate me for this one, guys.

It would seem that "Prom-posals" are the new thing. It's when one teen asks another to prom, but makes it an event. Balloon bouquets, flash-mobs, celeb cameos, flower arrangements- some of these put my actual marriage proposal to shame, much less my awkward heywannagotoprom conversation I had with the guy I was dating my senior year.

It just occurred to me that I should dig up one of my prom pictures. {shudder}

Anyway, back to proms. These extravagant invites have become the stuff of YouTube videos everywhere and, even thought I think the way these have become over-the-top is kind of insane, I'm totally along for the ride. Roses in math class? A flock of minstrels from the glee club to serenade a prom hopeful? I will watch the shit out of that. I think the romanticism is sweet.

At some point, I start to think about PJ as a prom-goer. Right now, while he's in kindergarten, it's hard to know if that's in the cards for him.…

There's still much to learn, so many dreams to earn...

{...stream of consciousness}

Today is April 2nd, World Autism Awareness Day, and it is Autism Awareness Month.

The month begins on the heels of news from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that Autism is on the rise. 1 in 68 children in the areas followed by the CDC are identified as having an Autism Spectrum Disorder, up from 1 in 88 just a few years ago. In New Jersey, the numbers are far higher then the national average at 1 in 45. 

You can view a summary of the latest CDC report here, but there are two points of the report that stood out to me:
Less than half (44%) of children identified with ASD were evaluated for developmental concerns by the time they were 3 years old.Most children identified with ASD were not diagnosed until after age 4, even though children can be diagnosed as early as age 2.Content source: National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities
PJ was diagnosed with Autism shortly after his second birthday. Pete and I had already utilized an e…