Tuesday, November 2, 2010

"Time and time again I can't please myself..."

Urghth.

This day has been horrible. Seriously. It's been nothing but one giant parenting fail after another for me, and I am just thankful that my sweet son is safely tucked into his little bed!

It came on the tail of another tough night with PJ. He has been sleeping terribly at night- up and down, tossing and turning, and often up for hours at a time. It's not out of character for him to get up a few times a night, but he is often super-easy to get back down. Just a quick dose of boobie and he's out like a light again. This has been a whole new ballgame, and it's Wearing. Mama. Out. His two bottom teeth have finally made an appearance (and they are suuuuuuuuuuper cute!) so it could be teething. Or Ebola. God knows.

Breakfast, at least, was a win! PJ tried a waffle and found it to be delicious! So there was that. After that, though, it was all downhill. PJ was fussy and grumpy for most of the day, and wouldn't take a morning nap. We found out the place we wanted to hold his 1st birthday party is booked, so we need to find another option, and fast! We can also change the date, but that could make things difficult for everyone to be there to celebrate. Harumph.

Still, that's nothing compared to my Epic Parenting Fail today, in which I locked myself out of our apartment while PJ was napping inside. I am mortified to even write that it happened, but it did. I wanted to throw a load of laundry in, and our washer and dryer is in the basement. I always lock ALL the doors when I do that, and only do so, of course, when PJ is safely asleep in his crib or buckled into his swing. I've been thinking lately about how I will do laundry when PJ stops napping in his swing and learns to climb out of his crib!

Anyway, I tried to get in through a window and woke PJ up in the process, and then my baby was crying for me and I couldn't get to him. I think it's about as horrible as I have ever felt in my lifetime (maybe only the pain he was in after his surgery was worse, since this time, he was just mad/scared, not hurting or in any danger at all). Pete was at work and not reachable, and none of my neighbors were home for me to borrow a key. So, I called the fine folks at the Collingswood Police Department, who quickly helped get the Hysterical Parental Failure back into her apartment.

PJ seemed to forgive me pretty quickly, and then went back to being alternately snuggly and grumpy as he's been the past few days. At least his dinner was good- chicken and veggies, but no fruit, since I need to shop (another fail. Boo.). We had some nice, after-dinner snuggly time, a warm bath, and our usual bedtime stories! He was asleep in my arms, and started laughing in his sleep, which pretty much mended my broken, mortified heart!

This parenting business. It's hard! All you want in the world is to do right by your child, and it's difficult to face yourself when you feel like you don't measure up. Still, in the end, even this terrible day ended up okay, with my little family all safe and sound inside, and tomorrow is a new day.

Goodnight.

1 comment:

Shelly said...

oh brie--that must have been upsetting! it's so easy to lock yourself out--don't beat yourself up! we all make mistakes! if you were really failing as a parent you wouldn't care about making mistakes as much! =)