Sunday, July 25, 2010

Wherein I babble uncontrollably...

Tomorrow is PJ's surgery to correct his hypospadias.

We had a very quiet, relaxing day at home. We played with PJ, who was in a very funny, smiley mood for most of the day! Nothing fancy, we just enjoyed each other's togetherness. PJ even took a nice, LONG nap, snuggled with his Mama on the couch while I watched a "Jersey Shore" marathon (don't judge). I was too keyed up to sleep, so I alternately watched Snooki and Co. act like jackasses and gazed down at my son. He was so peaceful and sweet and calm- just looking at him made my heart skip! When it was time to tuck him into bed, I had a hard time putting him down, I could have held on to him forever!

I know that I am being psychotic, I mean, my sister had four open heart surgeries, her first when she was two months younger then PJ. She was truly in a situation where her life was in a very precarious place. I know that PJ's life isn't really in any danger, but I am still scared out of my mind. The thought of him being scared, or in pain kills me. I hate the fact that when he wakes up in the morning, I can't nurse him, and I don't want him to wonder why I won't feed him when I know he'll be ready for breakfast. I am not so much afraid of the outcome of the surgery itself, but I am frightened at the thought of him being under anesthesia. I just want everything to be perfect and easy for my son and this is not.

Either way, we have to be at the admissions office at 7:45am and PJ's surgery should begin around 9am. I pray for it to go as well as it possibly can. I pray for PJ to feel as little discomfort, hunger, and fear as possible.

2 comments:

Shelly said...

you have every right to be worried--it's basically the job description of motherhood! love you friend--praying for you and the handsome one tomorrow!!

Shelly said...

i mean, praying for you today! (worries is in the job description right next to sleeplessness and loss of brain power---for me anyways! =)