Pete and I have a son now, and with PJ's arrival, my heart has never felt so full and I have never felt so happy or so lucky!
Still, his being here makes me miss my Mom-Mom more then ever. I sometimes find myself thinking "Mom-Mom left me here with this boy to raise and I have no idea how I'm going to do it without her!" Even though I am surrounded by wise, experienced, wonderful mama's, from my own mother to my amazing friends, I can't help but wonder what advice and guidance Mom-mom would have had for me. She raised two boys, my father and my Uncle Gary, in a very different time, but her wisdom was always timeless. Even though her own boys often drove her to distraction, she raised them!
Alot of people know that two weeks after Mom-Mom passed away, I found out I was pregnant with PJ. The news of my pregnancy was a surprise to Pete and I, and it was emotional news that arrived at an already emotional time, and I can admit now that at that time, I wasn't sure if it was something I was ready for. Now I look at him and know that God- and maybe Mom-Mom, too- knew that I needed him right then.
The very last time I spoke to my Mom-Mom, she said to me "I can't wait until you start having babies" and unbeknownst to me, I already had the stirrings of a new life within me. I think back to that conversation now, and think that maybe, Mom-Mom was letting me know that I will be just fine.
I look at my beautiful son- blonde, like my Mom-Mom- and will always believe that he was Mom-Mom's last gift to me.