Thursday, March 26, 2009

"Then you'll be forever young and beautiful to me..."

I am so numb that I can barely feel the keys underneath my fingers, but I am going to give this a go.

You might remember that last week, Mom-Mom was taken to the hospital with chest pains, chest pains that turned out to be the product if a pretty large heart attack. The decision was made to discharge her from the hospital and let her go home, treating her symptoms with drugs.

That was Thursday morning. Over the week, she was not feeling well. "Lousy" was what she said when I spoke to her on Thursday afternoon. I told her we'd call the doctor the enst day if she still felt crappy, and in the meantime, to rest up, and that I loved her. I was thankful, for the first time, about my layoff- with a free weekend, I could go see her on Sunday.

Early Sunday morning, my phone rang, and when I saw my mom's number on the Caller ID, I knew. I was hoping that Mom-Mom had been rushed to the hospital for something, but really, I knew before my mom told me. After a frantic call to Pete, who had already left for work, I spoke to my sister. A few hours later, we were all in our living room- Marla, Steve, Pete and I- gathering up the strength to go to Mom-Mom's house.

When we got there, the house was quiet. My parents were there and Margaret, Mom-Mom's caretaker, was upstairs with her. Jimmy, my cousin, was kind of floating about. Mar and I went upstairs, and Mom-Mom was laying in her bed.

She didn't look like herself- it was like Mom-Mom was already long gone, and there was just a shell. I think that's what got to me more then anything. I know that for alot of people, part of the mourning process is saying goodbye to the body of their loved ones. But all I needed was a glance to know that my last goodbye was when I spoke to her on the phone a few days before, because there was nothing of Mom-Mom in the tiny shell laying in her bed.

Believe it or not, this next part is kind of funny.

My mom called the police to report the death, and the next thing Marla and I hear is a siren. We jumped up from Mom-Mom's side to look out the window- an ambulance and a fire engine had pulled up out front, rescue workers spilling out of each. I honestly though "Well, great, the neighbor's house is on fire. Just what we need." But when the next thing we heard was all of those people thundering up the stairs, we knew there had been a...well, a miscommunication.

Marla and I walked out of the room so they EMT's and paramedics could do...whatever the hell they were doing. I feel so bad for making fun of him, because he really was very sweet, but one of the men came out of the room and approached Marla and I.

"I'm very sorry, but there's nothing we can do."

"Oh. Well. Yes. We're not...surprised or anything..."

Was this guy serious? And all I could think was that Mom-Mom would say "They sent a fire truck? But I'm not on fire..." We must have thought we were weird. And I guess he would be right. The whole day was filled with weirdness.

We did get one blessing, and that was Cantor Ellie being willing to perform the service. She had already met our family, and Pete and I had felt such a connection to her when she married us, so we were so thankful that she was willing to make some time in her busy schedule to help us say goodbye to Mom-Mom.

The funeral itself was awful. Further proof that Mom-Mom is really gone was how OLD she looked. I could only marvel- when most people pass, people say "Oh, she looks so peaceful" or "He looks so young". But Mom-Mom- although her skin, as always, looked fabulous- looked old. Old lady hairstyle, old lady expression on her frozen face,even an old lady positioning of the purple broach Marla and I chose for her. I wanted to badly to see some semblance of Mom-Mom to hold to my heart, but there was nothing of her there.

That would be about the time I fell apart.

I barely heard Cantor Ellie's lovely voice as she led as all in prayer. I faded away when my mom gave her eulogy. And when it was time for Marla and I to read our eulogy- the one we had so carefully written the night before- I could make no sounds. The next thing I knew, the pallbearers were rising to take Mom-Mom's casket to the hearse. And inside me, the last thread holding me together snapped. I lost it in front of everyone, and even as it was happening, as my grief overwhelmed me, I was so angry at myself. Mom-Mom took the whole walk of life with so many- her husband, her son, her best friend- and I didn't even have the strength to stand.

The rest is a blur. Riding in the limo to the cemetery. The short graveside service. The chilly wind that I could barely feel. Seeing Mom-Mom lowered into the ground, next to her son, knowing at that moment I was the closest I was ever going to be to her again. Each mourner sprinkling a shovel of dirt over her casket. Wondering what on earth we would all do without her.

Back her house to sit shiva, I was able to put myself together for a bit. Most people kind of avoided me- I think they were a little unused to seeing me fall apart, but know enough about me to know I like my space. Family and friends streamed in all day, anxious to let us know how much Mom-Mom meant, and to ask if there was anything they could do.

But what can you do for someone when they lost their Mom-Mom?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

"I hope you will guide me as only you can do..."

You don’t need us to tell you what a beautiful woman our Mom-Mom was. As children, we found her beauty to be unfathomable. It was beyond what we later grew to recognize was her honest, true physical beauty- to us, Mom-Mom was dazzling, spectacular. One night, Mom-Mom was dressed for a night on the town, and gazing at her in rapture, my sister Marla said “Oh, Mom-Mom, you look beautiful. You are even prettier then Miss Piggy!”

We also knew how hard she worked for her beauty, although anyone with eyes could see she didn’t need to. She kept her nails beautifully polished, choosing her color carefully from the large selection she kept in her fridge. Her accessories were gorgeous. She moisturized her skin without fail every night. She had her carefully coiffed hair styled once a week, and ensured it’s upkeep with many, many, many millions of sprays of Aqua Net. Our childhood goal was to be taller then Mom-Mom- first passing the top of her head, then needing to grow a few more inches to clear the top of her hair! Mom-Mom may not have been overly concerned with her carbon footprint, but the woman was hot!

Of course, it’s a good thing she did take such care with her appearance, because Mom-Mom was not the type that could just dash to the store in some shmatta and get back home unseen. Mom-Mom could not get five feet from her door without running into a regular customer from Rite Aid, a friend of down the street, someone from the salon. And after they greeted her with enthusiasm, they would turn to us and say “Your grandmom is a wonderful lady. And isn’t her skin amazing? Not one wrinkle!”

Saturday nights meant sleepovers at Mom-Moms. Our parents would drop us off, and after we would harangue Mom-Mom for this, that, and the other things, it would be time for bed. We would all sleep in her gigantic bed- Mom-Mom all the way to the right, Marla in the middle, and me banished to the farthest end of the bed possible because I kicked in my sleep. Our cousin Laurie joined us so many of those nights, and the four of us girls would fit nicely in the bed. We would watch all of the NBC Saturday night line up, but Golden Girls was our favorite! Marla and I didn’t always get the jokes, but Mom-Mom would crack up at every rude thing Sophia said!

The next morning, Mom-Mom would want to make us breakfast, but we could usually talk her into giving us money so we could get breakfast from Burger King. In fact, and we are almost ashamed to admit it now, we could talk Mom-Mom into pretty much anything. She spoiled us ROTTEN! All Marla had to say was “Mom-Mom, I have to have this dress. I’ll look DAZZLING in it!” Five minutes later, she was the proud owner of a heinous dress. There were some ways that she bathed us in practicality, but more often, she was about indulgence. And it wasn’t just us- there were very few people Mom-Mom would say no to. She used to leave out peanut butter apples for the squirrels! There were very few living creatures that missed being spoiled by Mom-Mom.

And even though she spoiled us rotten, Mom-Mom somehow managed to also remind us that not everything comes easy in this world. She was an example for hardworking people everywhere- she worked a full-time job until she was 82 years old and even then she wasn’t thrilled at the idea of retirement! She would give you the shirt off her back, or the dazzling dress you demanded from the store, but she also taught us that money is something you treat with care. She used to tell us to save $5 from every paycheck, and would openly cringe when we told her how much we spent on our Coach bags!

Forget the idea of “Everything I Need To Know, I Learned In Kindergarten”- everything WE needed to know, we learned from Mom-Mom. The importance of family, hard work, generosity, self-control, and love. Without our Mom-Mom, we’re back in kindergarten, but without the benefit of our favorite teacher.

Monday, March 23, 2009



Anne (Rittenberg) Wexler
WEXLER
ANNE (nee Rittenberg) March 22, 2009. Wife of the late Benjamin Wexler. Mother of Paul (Olga) Wexler and the late Gary Alan Wexler; grandmother of James, Laurie, Brie (Peter), and Marla (Stephen); great grandmother of Wyatt, Aaron and Jamie. Relatives and friends are invited to Funeral Services Tuesday 10:00 A.M. precisely GOLDSTEINS' ROSENBERG'S RAPHAEL SACKS SUBURBAN NORTH, 310 Second St. Pike, Southampton. Interment King David Memorial Park. Shiva will be observed at her late residence. In lieu of flowers contributions in her memory may be made to a charity of the donor's choice.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

"In the end, only kindness matters..."

I took the lazy way out and have not blogged in a few days, and now, with my belly full after dinner with my in-laws and Pete dead to the world on the couch, it's time to sit and empty my brain!

Thursday night was not of any real consequence, I was just too tired to blog after I watched all of my shows (which is, of course, my number one Thursday night priority!). So I went to bed without blogging- not that it made a difference but I have been sleeping like absolute crap lately. But anyway...

Here's my photo from Thursday- the gals and I had a "spa night" and I put their hair up so that in the morning when I took it down, they would have crimps (Anna) and waves (Ellie)! We also did manicures and had a "spa dinner" of finger sandwiches, tea, and fruit salad! The next day, when I took their hair down, they were thrilled with the results!

Friday was alternately stupid, awesome, and horrible. It was stupid because I had only lost 1.2 lbs over the past week- I was so frustrated after having my ass at the gym EVERY MORNING and meeting with the Fitness Wench EVERY NIGHT! So when the lady said that I had only lost a pound, it was hard not to be disappointed. In fact, I might have sulked about it for most of the day. Meh.

Thankfully, I had the midnight release of the "Twilight" DVD and an Applebee's night with my best gals to look forward to! Applebee's was a blast! Shelly, Carmen, Marla and myself talked, ate, laughed hysterically, and had a deep discussion about merkins. Oh yes, we talked merkins at the dinner table. Top all of that off with outstanding service by our favorite Applebee's server, Brian, and it was a great night!

Sadly though, sometime between talking about merkins and Brian thinking I asked for smegma instead of Splenda, my phone rang. It was the doctor who handled Mom-Mom's discharge from the hospital. His being a complete dick, I could handle. But his feeling that the cardiologist overstepped his boundaries by suggesting further testing, his opinion that Mom-Mom needs to go on hospice, and his obvious irritation that I dared to have questions for him ("You realize that I am a physician.") made the conversation difficult to hear and difficult to have.

Even though I was absolutely seething with anger, I got myself together and joined my gals back at the table. We ate some more and laughed some more and then before we knew it, it was T-minus 40 minutes to Edward! So off we went to Wal-Mart, and after chilling out in a VERY long line, we each had a copy of "Twilight" in our hot little hands!

Woo hoo!

After my late night, I got home and went straight to bed, but I am still sleeping like crap (I always do at the change of seasons) so I was up again at 9am. So, I went to my favorite spot, Barnes and Noble, so I could get the Special Edition "Twilight". they were sold out of them by the time we got to the front of the line at Wal-Mart, and there was no way I was going to go without that special "The Making Of..." segments! I mean, really? How DO they make Edward soooooo delicious?

I was back home by 10:00am, so I set about the not too small task of cleaning our apartment. It is amazing how fast the places just goes to shit if I get lazy about keeping things neat. It took forever to get the place presentable, and before I knew it, it was time to grab a shower and then start making dinner, since my mother- and father-in-law were coming over for dinner for the first time.

Dinner was great! My turkey meatloaf came out well and everyone had a great night chatting and eating! They brought a cheesecake from McMillan's bakery,and while not the best thing points-wise to eat, I truly enjoyed my little piece!

I had wanted to hang our gorgeous sign-in board from our wedding in the hall, but Pete was having trouble getting a screw into the stud behind the wall, so he asked his father to help him out. The boys fussed and drilled and banged around for a big, but somehow, my picture is still not hung and this was all the evidence left of their hard work:

Sigh...

So, thus far, it has been a relatively good weekend! And I still have a day left to go- a new twist in my world of uni-employment!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

"Breathing is the hardest thing to do..."

The Fitness Wench is trying to kill me. Or, maybe it's not that she's trying to kill me, but more that I suck donkey gonads at yoga. And here's why:

1. I have horrible balance. If I needed to be on one foot, I usually ended up tipping over. Which, yes, I know! I will improve if I keep at it.

2. Holding the poses is boring. What I can hold the pose and not falling over, anyway.

3. Yoga appears to make me fart alot. Sorry I had to tell you that, but I'm shooting for honesty here. I think that's the real reason I never do yoga in public.

4. No, wait. I know the real reason. It's not the farting, but the fact I cracked myself up every time I did!

Sigh. And there you have it. But I will keep trying the yoga (in the privacy of my own home) and try to improve! In other news, it appears I may not be as laid-off as I thought. The staffing person at WCRH called today- right after the layoffs, the census shot through the roof, so they are scrambling a bit for extra hands. Well, duh, I guess, it was bound to happen, but I imagine it was sudden because the census was cruddy for what felt like well over a year. I am deciding if I am going to pick up shifts, since they won't be in my old department, where I honestly loved working.

Aside from the call, today was a pretty standard Wednesday. Anna and Ellie both had classes at The Little Gym, we got in a walk with Emily the dog, and made a yummy pizza for dinner! I didn't get a picture today- instead, please enjoy this video of Anna, Riley and the rest of their dance class doing the tango. Soooo cute!

(Riley in the pink ballet outfit and Anna in purple sweats!)
video

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

"I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved. Said 'Why are you always running in place?'..."

Ohhhhhh myyyyyyyyy....soooooooo tiiiiiired!

This fitness stuff is for the birds, seriously! Thankfully, I have progress on my side to make me feel better! I can run for longer lengths of time and I am keeping up with my Favorite Fitness Wench with a little more ease! I just feel like my body was put through the wringer!

Today was a lovely Tuesday! I got the gals off the school and went to the gym! Go, me. After lunch, I took Anna and Emily the dog to the playground, where the sun shone down on us and kept us warm! It felt so good to be outside and enjoying the fresh air! Anna made some new friends and had a blast playing!

Later on, once Ellie was home, we had some special dinner guests! Randi came over with her gals, Natalie and Gabi, to enjoy a special St. Patrick's Day dinner! Green was the theme and the gals had a blast!

And now, here I am at home, with sore abs and eyes at half-mast, so off I go to bed!

Monday, March 16, 2009

"Work your body like some cardio..."

Today was my first day as a member of the uni-employed!

And I am going to stop whining about it startiiiiiiiiiinggggg....NOW! Because so many people I know lost their only job, and although it will be an interesting adjustment for me, and I will miss my babies and co-workers, it could be alot worse!

Instead, I think I will vent my frustrations on Maya, the girl in my Yourself Fitness game! This wench is really starting to get on my nerves! She keeps telling me to pull in my abs and drink water...humph. If I was thin and healthy she would leave me alone! Oh, wait...

Frig. I need that wench after all.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

"I have been changed for good..."

Just a quick few words-

Today was my last day at WCRH. I found out today that there was a HUGE layoff, and alot of the people I have grown to care about lost their jobs. It's really the first time I have been exposed to just how horrible it is out there- the economy in general is in a shambles, and for the first time I am seeing it real life instead of played out by experts on The Today Show. It's the first time in nine years that I have had only one job, and I am feeling blessed to even have that!

Pete and I are hardly people who live in the lap of luxury, but we are really going to have to make some changes. We had planned on my having two jobs this summer in order to put away some money, but unless I am able to find something, that's going to change, so I can't help but feel very stressed out about our future. At least the next 6-9 months, anyway.

That said, I can look back on the past 4 1/2 years and feel so blessed for all of the things I have had the opportunity to do. I have seen the miracle of a young girl, shot in the head at two years old, go home as an atypical but very much alive 5 year old. I also had to say goodbye to a very special treasure of a 4 year old much too soon. I've met kids I will never, ever forget and who have changed my life for the better. I've also been lucky enough to make some fantastic friends. So even though I am hoping there is something else for me,it's hard to see his chapter of my life close.

But, if I ever need a laugh, there's always this picture of the apple I was going to eat after dinner, which instead was assaulted by my friend Kevin:

Saturday, March 14, 2009

"Anyway it looks like no one heard me, so here I go..."

Oh, what an eventful two days it has been!

Well, one eventful day and one lazy day, to be truthful. I spent all of today being a lazy bum, and as I told an old friend from high school, "I feel like a combination of a slug and Lance Armstrong- lazy but victorious!".

Go, me.

Yesterday was an eventful day. In the morning, one of Mom-Mom's doctors (an extremely nice cardiologist) was nice enough to give me a call and bring me up to speed on what, in his opinion, is going on with Mom-Mom and what the best course of action might be. He managed to be extremely hopeful and extremely truthful at the same time, which was much appreciated. The next step is to speak with her other doctor and try to get everyone on the same page.

I find it so surreal that it's even necessary to step up and handle Mom-mom's health in this way. A few years ago, even at age 70, she could have handled ALL of our needs simultaneously, without a hair in her very large hairdo falling out of place.

The doctor called while I was at Panera, drinking a coffee and trying to uh, get things moving along intestine-wise before my Weight Watchers meeting. Okay, I was hoping I would poop before I got weighed. I'm not proud of it, but that's how it is. I was not successful in my mission, but it turned out okay- I lost a decent amount of weight for the week and I was happy with myself! All that work with my new toy must be paying off! This is a picture of me on the scale at WW- more daunting then it looks! I have a heart attack every time I step on it, but so far, it's been kind and reflective of all of my work!

After the meeting, I picked up Anna from school and to her delight, we stopped to pick up Riley and headed over to the Oaklyn Fire Hall to help Pete and the other fireman decorate and set up for that nights St. Patty's Day party! The girls had a blast running around and being fussed over by the fireman, and, as always, were so happy to be together! When it was time to go home, Anna hugged Ry and said "Bye, best friend!". So cute!

Sadly, while I was transforming the firehall with green, white and orange crepe paper, I got a call from my boss at WCRH. I have been aware of cutbacks at the hospital- a good friend was laid off just the day before- so it was not a shock when she told me that it wasn't likely that I would be getting any hours for a long, long time. Essentially, I've been laid off.

I know I have been contemplating how much longer I was going to carry two jobs, but as stretched out as I had been feeling lately, I was hoping to keep both jobs going through the summer, so we could put a decent amount of money away before we start trying for a baby. If I was going to leave that job, I wanted to be in control of my departure, not have it yanked out from under me by a sucky economy. The news has caused a minor-to-moderate panic attack, hoping that our financial situation will be okay.

As Homer Simpson once sagely quoted, "Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems". I followed this excellent advice by attending the above-mentioned St. Patty's Day party, which benefited the Oaklyn Fire Department! Marla and Steve even came out to join in the festivities! The party was a success and we all had a blast in our green! The party itself was Pete's project, so it felt good to see all of his hard work come to fruition- everyone having a blast and earning money for the fire department! I made sure I contributed not only in my attendance, but in my beer consumption! Which was, uh...two beers, but that's actually alot for me!

Today can be summed up a little more succinctly. Slept late, did nothing, took a nap, did nothing some more, updated my Facebook status between bouts of nothing, and did laundry. It was a full day of doing nothing. In fact, I don't even have a picture for today, because what on earth would I have taken a picture of?

Tomorrow is my last day at the hospital for a while, but it will still be a long one, so it is time to bid you adieu!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

"I don't cry every time I bleed, my eyes are dry but they're bloodshot. I have faith in medication...but this is where it ends..."

Oh, Thursday Night! That magical time when all of the good TV shows are on! Yes, it's a night that I am all alone, but I enjoy the downtime every now and then! Plus, we're all that much closer to Friday! Yay!

Today was a bit stressful- it seems there was a miscommunication between two of Mom-Mom's cardiologists, and she was discharged from the hospital (which is good, of course!) before a test could be performed.

Wait, let me back up.

When she went back to the hospital on Monday, it turned out that she had indeed had a massive heart attack. There was quite a bit of damage to her heart, of course, and right now, the best course of action seems to be very confused. The opinions of both cardiologists seem to be a thousand miles apart, and since she only has one heart, I would prefer some kind of consensus. I mean really, it's like having a sick kitten and one vet says "Let's do some tests to see what we are working with", and the other vet says "Oh, God. Cats are stupid anyway. Just step on its head".

You get the idea. So, in my pushy, busybody, I-feel-a-compulsive-need-to-involve-myself-in-everything way, I (along with my sister) have been trying to speak to both doctors, perhaps get them to speak to each other, and then try to figure out the best path, one that will make Mom-Mom's quality of life the very best it can be. And I do not think that just sitting back and waiting for the next big, painful heart attack is a reasonable path, despite her health problems.

She said to me last night "I'm 87 years old. And I've done okay." She's not going to feel any regret if she passes tomorrow or passes 20 years from now. But she also said John Stamos is hot, that the doctor for Octo-Mom should have his balls cut off, and that ladies don't fart in public- instead, go find a quiet corner and "fart your fucking head off". Pardon her French.

Maybe I am stupid, selfish, blind, naive, whatever. Maybe I am thinking more about how I want Mom-Mom to hold my babies.

I just feel like there is a little more life there.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

"But I won’t let melancholy play me for a fool..."


From now on, I promise to blog before I play with my new toy. My half-hour demon workout, devised by the animated wench from Yourself Fitness, has left me too tired to talk about all of the things on my mind. So, I am abandoning blogging for my bed.

In the meantime, I submit for your viewing pleasure a picture of Anna's chameleon project for school, which she worked amazingly hard on, considering she is only five!



Goodnight, and keep praying for Mom-Mom!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

"If I had $1,000,000 we wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner..."

I think that I have never been happier to be married to my husband then I am tonight!

Pete took the time to make amazing dinner plans at POD Restaurant in Philadelphia, picked up his dinner partner right on time, treated her to a fantastic dinner with fun ambiance and delicious food, and most importantly made his date feel so special!

Oh, his date wasn't me. I was at the Pop Shop with some of my best little gals celebrating the 2nd birthday of my good friend Randi's daughter Gabrielle!

His date was our niece and his Godchild, Riley!

Okay, let me back up a bit. Riley turned 5 back on February 17th, and her birthday party was the week after! Pete has clinical on Saturdays, so he couldn't make it to the party. Not that missing three hours of screaming kids jacked up on sugar made him all that upset! That said, Pete takes his Godfather duties very seriously. He's Riley and Carl's Godfather and he always makes sure he does a little extra for them both. He promised Ry that they would do something special, just the two of them, and she asked to go out to dinner.

Well, the idea of a "date" with Uncle Pete and Riley sent us all into a tizzy! Marla and I made sure she got a special outfit for her birthday, and she even went to Sweet and Sassy and got a special hairdo, manicure, and makeup! Her glittery up-do even smelled like cotton candy instead of the usual hairspray smell!

Seriously, so you have a cavity from the sweetness yet? I'd advise you to grab the dental floss now, because it just gets cuter!

We were all already at Shelly's when Pete came by to pick up his date- like I mentioned, we were all meeting Randi and her girls at the Pop Shop. Riley was so, so excited, she could hardly contain herself- she was just glowing! And not in a romantic way (you pervs!), but in the way only a girl who feels like the most special girl EVER can glow. Riley, like any other kid, loves presents and goodies and stuff. But more then anything- maybe because she is a middle child?-Riley just wants to be with you!

They hopped into the car and jetted off to Philadelphia! POD is a very sleek, fun, colorful place,and Riley loved it! Of course, they must have spent a million dollars on decor, and according to Pete, Ry loved the giant TV! She munched on crab and chicken rolls, sushi (I kid you not, she loves it!), and some yummy looking desserts! But the thing that kills me- look at her face:



She just looks so happy! Our Riley-roo (along with her mom and sisters,of course) had had her tiny little 5 year old self put through the ringer. Last year for Riley's birthday, they celebrated in the hospital. A year later, Greg is gone, and these beautiful girls are here without their father. I would move the WORLD for those girls, and it's something we can never make better.

Tonight though, the hot guy who is now passed out on the couch while I blog gave her a special night to remember, and he just became that much more special to me.

I love him!

Monday, March 9, 2009

"Won't it be odd, to be happy like we always thought we're supposed to feel..."

I woke up this morning with the sun in the sky (thanks to daylight savings!) and a song in my heart- I was determined to make the dreaded Monday a good day!

It started off well- I got my little chickens off to school without a hitch, went to the gym, came back for a shower and then headed out to pick Anna up from school.

And then it happened.

My mom called to let me know that Mom-Mom had been having chest pains that morning and was taken to the hospital. By the time my mom called, Mom-Mom was much more comfortable and not in any pain, so it was a little less weight on my heart. But I know that with her previous diagnosis, this might be something that occurs with more and more regularity. The thought of her having pain on a continual basis...well, it's alot to think about. That said, when I spoke to her tonight, she was mad about having to stay overnight and no doubt torturing Margaret, her amazing caretaker!

It was hard getting through work, which in and of itself was pleasant enough! Anna and I enjoyed the weather by taking Emily the dog to the playground! But alas, Weight Watchers bladder set in and after about 40 minutes, I had to pee so badly I could feel it bubbling in my ears. So we headed home, picked up Ellie from the bus stop, and made a big blanket tent in the living room! SO FUN! I felt like I was 5 years old again! The girls even got showered and into jammies to they could eat dinner in the tent! It was such a blast introducing the girls to something that was such a big part of my childhood! Anna actually said "Breezy. You come up with the best ideas! EVER!" How funny is that?

Oh my. I am getting tired, so the rest of this may not make sense. Anyway, on my way home from work- in fact, no more then a few blocks from home- Pete called and asked if I could take my mother in law to the hospital to meet my father in law. He had been feeling some fairly severe chest pains a few nights ago, and still not feeling just right today, decided to go to the ER. Now, Pete's family doesn't have the luxury of having had many extensive medical experiences like my family. So everyone was pretty upset. I drove my mother in law over to the hospital, and they are keeping my father in law overnight while they figure out exactly what is going on.

And there we have it folks- family members on both sides in the hospital for potential heart issues. So, keep them in your prayers and hearts and hope for the best for everyone!

Oh,and for once, I'm just going to ask- pray for me too! I am starting to feel my hold on sanity slipping away!

(And tomorrow, I will talk more about the new toy I won on eBay that arrived today!)

GOODNIGHT!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

"I'm so sane, it's driving me crazy..."

I am starting to reconsider my work ethic.

I usually work seven days a week- I have had a part-time job at Weisman Children's Rehabilitation Hospital for well over 4 years now, and I spend almost every weekend working in the playroom. The job is a great gig- it's a fun job for someone who likes to play game, hold babies, hang out with kids, and talk with funny people! It's a job that allows me to exercise my caring and creative sides and I really enjoy it! I have fun at work and have the luxury of extra money when I need it.

In fact, I spent all day there yesterday, hugging babies and trying NOT to get into a power struggle with a cranky teen! Ugh, I think all teenage boys should be put into Tupperware and not allowed out until they are twenty-five. At least, that's how I felt yesterday. :-P I usually really enjoy having teen patients on the floor!

Today was a day off for me- something I have been trying to do with more frequency. That past few months have really worn me down. I am trying so hard to put myself back together, and I really feel like plain old REST is a big tool in my put-myself-together arsenal! That and eating right, losing weight, exercise, moisturizing every night, and more sex with my husband.

Ooops. Who said that? Ahem...

Back to my day off. I almost had a heart attack when I woke up at 10:30 this morning- thanks daylight savings! Frig. Anyway, I hopped out of bed and enjoyed my new favorite food, Arnold Sandwich Thins! YUM! I started the many, many loads of laundry I would do today and just tried to straighten up in general! Thank goodness Shelly texted me so we could conspire to go to the Container Store, where I purchased a giant box of hangers! We also walked around the mall, where I did not shop, did enjoy a coffee, and continually kicked myself for not being in good enough shape to wear all of the cute things they have at Old Navy! Humph.

Back home, I did more laundry and cleaned up the kitchen, and when Pete came home we had dinner together (something we are trying to do with more frequency and that I really, really love)! Thanks to all of the fun recipes on the WW web site, dinner was really good and well within my points limits! I have been losing weight in small amounts and at a very gradual pace, and now I am REALLY feeling ready to kick it into gear!

After dinner, I started transferring all of my clothes to the new hangers while I enjoyed the season finale of VH1's Tool Academy (God, I love crap TV!). And thanks to my diligent work, my closet is starting to look much, much better! Yay matching hangers!

This was not, by any stretch of the imagination, what you would call an exciting day. But it was exceedingly pleasant, and it makes me wonder if my days of working 7 days a week should come to a close. It's not a decision I'll make lightly- right now,Pete is still in school and I am very, very lucky to have two jobs that allow us to pay almost all of our bills. The money has been great to have,and I have been very blessed in my job at WCRH. Leaving that job would no doubt weigh very heavy on me. Still, taking time for me is proving to be invaluable, so I can't help but wonder...

Sigh. Thank GOD I have this blog to think out loud on!

Goodnight!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

"Better then the first time, better then the worst time, if I could just reverse time I'd be set..."

Oh, my word! I haven't blogged in two days!

That's the longest I have gone in quite a while, ever since I started Project 360. I have faithfully hauled my camera and diligently tapped out my happenings on the keyboard! More important, I have truly grown to enjoy blogging- it's like free therapy! So two days off are kind of a big deal for me now.

Thursday night I was honestly so tired that I could not focus enough to write! I watched my TV shows in a cloudy haze and stumbled off to bed, where I fell asleep as soon as I stopped moving and did not wake up until my alarm went off. For someone who in general, sleeps as poorly as I do, it was....awesome!

Friday, I was at work all day, and then that night took my sweet friend Michelle out to Redstone Grill to celebrate her 30th birthday! We had such a great time- dinner was awesome and Redstone is a great place in general- the fire pit in the outdoor bar was a nice touch! My high point- the fondue appetizer! Ohhhhh....that was good! I never thought I would like grapes dipped in cheese, but I am very glad I expanded my horizons! And even better, got to celebrate 30 years of an absolutely wonderful girl!

After I dropped off Michelle, I got a text from my funny, sweet friend Lisa, who was at a bar just around the corner from my place with a bunch of people from the theatre group I used to do shows with! I would normally turn down as offer to meet up- it was getting late and I was tired and...well, I'm lame. But, I stopped by to say hello and I am so glad I did- it was SOOO good to see everyone!

When my alarm went off this morning, I was having a teeny bit of regret for staying out so late, since I had a ten hour shift at the hospital ahead of me! Today was a LOOOOOOONG day- we have a very low census, so it makes for a boring day. I was VERY happy to get home! Pete and I decided to walk through Collingswood and had dinner at a sushi place right around the corner from our place. I have tried sushi a number of times and just didn't like it, but I gave it one more shot tonight and it was AWESOME!

And now, I need to turn the clocks forward an hour- I think springtime daylight savings is my least favorite day of the year! Why I need to give up a perfectly good hour of sleep is beyond me!

Goodnight!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

"It's hard to keep your mouth shut, harder still to make noise..."

So the first thing that I need to address today- I need to not watch shows on E! about celebs who have bad plastic surgery. I think I could watch a Stephen King movie and be less horrified. My God, and these are people with MONEY paying to look like a hot friggin' mess! If I went in for plastic surgery with my nanny salary backing me up, I'd be afraid of ending up looking like Gollum.

shudder...

Today was a fairly short day at work- I didn't have to be in until 10, when I picked up Anna from the doctors office (she took her shots like a camp, as usual) and whisked her off to pick up Riley and head off to dance class. We all enjoyed our usual Chick-fil-A apres dance lunch with our favorite lunch date. We dropped Ry off at home, headed back to the gals house to walk the dog, and then picked up Ellie from the bus stop and headed right back to the Little Gym for Ellie's gymnastics class! Usually, we head back home to some dinner, homework, and baths, but their dad was on his way home and was right on track to swing by and pick the gals up after class so PRESTO! Five-thirty, and I was done!

Pete has off most Wednesday nights, so I made us dinner (tweaked a recipe I learned from Shelly) and we ate and chatted, and then I headed out to walk and Pete retreated to our office/second bedroom/place we stash extra crap to study. I can not wait until Pete is done with school and we can settle into a life where maybe, just maybe, we live the type of life where eating dinner together is more of an every day thing!

It wasn't until we were loading the dishwasher that I thought of taking a picture of our dinner, of course. So, instead, please behold this picture of the basket of laundry that has been sitting here since Sunday, waiting to be folded. Please leave me many shaming, harsh comments about what a lazy ass I am, as to best motivate me to put the DAMN CLOTHES AWAY!!!



I thank you for your support.

Monday, March 2, 2009

"I followed footprints in the snow..."

SNOW DAY!

I woke up to one of the best things ever- being able to turn around and go right back to bed! Honestly, is there anything better then a snow day?

I wish I could say I did something productive, but Pete and I spent most of the day like this:



Ooops. But that's what snow days are for- if I was supposed to work, God and Mother Nature would not have been in cahoots to keep me home! So instead, I enjoyed a quiet, restful day at home with Pete and Gordie (who spent most of the day napping next to the radiators!). Tomorrow will be back to cold reality, but today was a lazy day blanketed in white!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

"There are luxuries we can't afford, but in our house we never get bored..."

Not less then an hour ago, I was theorizing that the big snow storm we were expecting was going to be a bust.

Well, it's coming down now, so I guess I'd better eat my words!

Today was a fairly lazy Saturday- I have not been feeling very well due to this crazy up and down weather. My sinuses are in a little bit of an uproar, but now that it's getting cold again it should settle down! I just kind of puttered about, doing laundry and some vacuuming so as not to feel like a total slug! It's not often I have an entire weekend off, so it's easy to be completely lazy when I have nothing to do!

Marla, Steve, Pete and I all got together with my parents for dinner at their place, where we celebrated Marla and Steve's first wedding anniversary! I can't believe how fast a year has flown by, with all of the good and the bad that came along with it. Tonight though, I was just so grateful to have my family with me, celebrating such a fun occasion!

And what better way to celebrate then with some Key Lime Pie?



HAPPY ANNIVERSARY


MARLA AND STEVE!!!