Skip to main content

"I hate the world today, you're so good to me, I know, but I can't change..."

Today was not a banner day for me.

And I am woman enough to admit it.

A combination of impending sickness and PMS has me walking a very thin wire- my patience levels and energy levels are already pretty low. Wait....that is me with PMS alone. PMS in conjunction with getting sick makes me this:

In fact, I just looked up from blogging to watch ER for a second and burst into tears. ER comes on at 10pm. It's now 10:05.

See? I'm a hot mess.

Thankfully,the day wasn't all bad, despite my horrible mood. I was able to grab a nap while my gals were at school, so that gave me a little boost for the day. Anna and I joined Randi for some lunch at Don Pablo's- the perk of having a pregnant friend is that they are always up for lunch! Even though the girls aren't mine, it is so nice to have a friend who is raising girls of the same age- I imagine I will feel the same way when I have children of my own and (hopefully) have friends with kids the same age. Those little chickens may not be mine, but I often feel many of joys and frustrations (oh, yes, frustrations!) that my friends feel for their own kids.

Still, while I enjoyed Randi's company, I found myself craving a bit of personal space- not easy when you work in a house with two little girls, another adult, and a dog! That left my nerves a little jangled (Hey, I have never claimed to be a nice person!). Worry over my sister-in-law, however, pushed me over the edge and later, I ended up picking a completely unnecessary fight with Pete. Sadly, I am still in the "I-can't-back-down-even-though-I'm-wrong-because-I-can't-admit-I'm-wrong" place. It's part of being a Taurus, what can I say?

Oh, jeeze, this episode of ER is friggin' killing me! Anyway...

An evening with my sisters-in-law (which reminds me, I was also short with the birth sister on the phone...feh...) dulled my sharp mood a little, enough to come home and try to take stock of my day. I get so frustrated with myself for feeling so down, especially when so many people- even the people that I love- have "real" problems. Did you mom ever say to you "Oh, I will give you something to cry about!"? I kind if wish someone would say that to me, so I could get a friggin' grip!

Thank GOD next week I'll get my period and get over least for another 28 days! ;-)

Goodnight, my loves!

PS- Ann, how many Hail Mary's would I get for this one???


Shelly said…
oh honey, we all have days like that! i hope you are feeling all light and happy soon =) praying for you!
I totally know how you feel! I am going through the same exact thing this week! I feel bad for everyone around me! Mostly the guys because they have no clue! Feel better, eat chocolate, and take bubble baths!

Popular posts from this blog

My LTYM Experience or How I Accidentally Ended Up On A Stage

The final chapter of my participation in the Listen To Your Mother Show ended with our live performances. I turned 39 on May 3rd and on May 7th, I was on a stage at the beautiful South Orange Performing Arts Center with 12 other souls  (as well as our incredible producers, Sandy, Brooke and Deborah) that handily out-shined the beauty of the space. It all still feels as if it may have been a dream. A very gratifying, emotional dream.

It ended the same way it began, with my worrying about clothes. Before our first rehearsal, I was stressing out knowing that the next morning, I would be meeting a room full of strangers. Not only that, I would be taking a cast picture with these strangers and reading a story of the worst moments of my life. It seemed like too much to be vulnerable about my story and about my precarious self-esteem at the same time.

Despite all of that, I got into my car on a Saturday morning, armed with coffee and the soundtrack to "Hamilton." Clad in the pink a…

Maybe I'm An A-Hole, But I'll Pass On The Pity Date

Do not hate me for this one, guys.

It would seem that "Prom-posals" are the new thing. It's when one teen asks another to prom, but makes it an event. Balloon bouquets, flash-mobs, celeb cameos, flower arrangements- some of these put my actual marriage proposal to shame, much less my awkward heywannagotoprom conversation I had with the guy I was dating my senior year.

It just occurred to me that I should dig up one of my prom pictures. {shudder}

Anyway, back to proms. These extravagant invites have become the stuff of YouTube videos everywhere and, even thought I think the way these have become over-the-top is kind of insane, I'm totally along for the ride. Roses in math class? A flock of minstrels from the glee club to serenade a prom hopeful? I will watch the shit out of that. I think the romanticism is sweet.

At some point, I start to think about PJ as a prom-goer. Right now, while he's in kindergarten, it's hard to know if that's in the cards for him.…

There's still much to learn, so many dreams to earn...

{ of consciousness}

Today is April 2nd, World Autism Awareness Day, and it is Autism Awareness Month.

The month begins on the heels of news from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that Autism is on the rise. 1 in 68 children in the areas followed by the CDC are identified as having an Autism Spectrum Disorder, up from 1 in 88 just a few years ago. In New Jersey, the numbers are far higher then the national average at 1 in 45. 

You can view a summary of the latest CDC report here, but there are two points of the report that stood out to me:
Less than half (44%) of children identified with ASD were evaluated for developmental concerns by the time they were 3 years old.Most children identified with ASD were not diagnosed until after age 4, even though children can be diagnosed as early as age 2.Content source: National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities
PJ was diagnosed with Autism shortly after his second birthday. Pete and I had already utilized an e…