Tuesday, December 9, 2008

"And I hate, and I hate...the way I'm left here silent..."

Ahhhh....home!

It's so nice to be on my couch futon, with my cat next to me, and gossip TV on the tube! The only thing missing is Pete, which would make it perfect, but he's out making a living!

Today was a fairly pleasant day! Anna and I were able to escape the noise of the house being renovated to meet with my sister and have lunch! Marla's longtime friend Sean joined us, so Anna had a new cute boy to flirt with and was in her glory! Lately, Anna has been into cars, so this exchange went down:

Brie: Oh, Anna, Sean drives an Audi!

Anna: Oh, I love Audi's! They go ZOOM!

(pause)

But a Porsche goes faster!

Good Lord, can you believe this kid? She is something else! She keeps me on my toes for sure!!

But, for now, my toes are snug in their Uggs and my cat is curled up next to me! I've always joked that I am not good at being alone with my thoughts, and with Pete at work and nobody to talk to, my mind has been running lately! Yay for technology that brought us blogs to babble on (although my pity to anyone who dares to try and make their way through this tedium!).

One thing running through my thoughts is what a BIG GIANT HEIFER I have become! I have gained 50 pounds since I graduated high school in 1995...and that is all without the benefit of children, or even maybe one of those phantom twins that people find growing in their colons or whatever. And the past few months have been the worst- I have let my emotions eat me into oblivion! I went from someone who was always a size 2 to someone who gained enough weight to look healthy instead of skinny. And then sometime after that...it just got out of control! My size 8 clothes are pretty much cutting off the flow of blood to my brain at this point!! UGH!!

So many things have happened this year, so many changes, both good and horribly bad. Now that 2008 is coming to a close, I want to come out of it with something positive on my side. I finally realize that I can't control the things that happen to other people, no matter how much I want to. But I can control me and make sure that I am happy, healthy, in control of my life and my happiness and my future.

And I know this is a tall order- let's face it, my follow through has a terrible track record. But I really, really want to make a difference, and for once, I really want to make it for myself! And for once, I hope this is not just the fleeting wish of someone alone with her thoughts.

4 comments:

Shelly said...

this heifer promises to stop grazing with you--we should find a pasture to work out in together or something =)

Breezy said...

Oh my Lord, that made me laugh! Let's do it!

Moo.

Ree said...

I hear ya sister!! I'll join you and Michelle anytime!! This has been a constant struggle. It certainly helps to have a team!!

Amethyst said...

You can lose all that weight. I was surprised at just a simple change like removing sugar from my diet- dropped off the pounds.