Monday, February 4, 2008

"I got something to say, you know, but nothing comes..."

So, how can it only be Monday and it's already the longest week ever?

Oh, well, at least I have my sweet potato victory to cheer me up! I'll tell you, watching the girls eat those sandwiches, it was hard not to just crack up in their face and go "Yooooooooooooooou're eating something heeeeeeeeealthy! SUCK ON THAT!!!!!" I can't tell if that attitude means I've been a nanny for too long, or not long enough.

Actually, I know the answer to that. I've been a nanny for too long. This was supposed to be an interem job while I decided to make a decision about what I wanted to do after I left Cooper. But, I got A. emotionally involved and B. lazy from having a mostly fun job that pays very well. After Pete and I got engaged, it seemed like staying at that job was the right thing to do- I was living at home again, so my bills were smaller and my salary was alot bigger. I've been able to save up and pay for alot of the wedding and save for our own place.

But, I've been there for two years, and I think this will be the last of them. I love my girls, but being a caretaker in this way isn't how I want to spend the rest of my life, even if they pay is great. But, the only problem is, I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up!

Aw, crap. I am a grown up. Well, damn it. But, it really is getting to be a problem. I don't want to go back to school aimlessly. I don't want to do the job I hav enow forever. But I don't know what job I WOULD want to do forever. And I know I wouldn't want to be a stay-at-home mom. I like working too much. It's such a circular thought process, and I keep going around.

But, that said, I know I'll get there, and in the meantime, I have fun things to look forward to, like Marla and Steve's wedding, booking our honeymoon, spending some time with an old friend, and trying to stick to my goal to be healthy and in shape. I am hoping that the rest of my goals, and what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life, will fall into place!

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