Friday, February 22, 2008

"I get a little warm in my heart when I think of winter..."

Finally, some luck! I got a snow day! I don't think I could ever live someplace warm year round because seriously, nothing beats that call when you hear "It's a snow day, go back to sleep!"

However, this week was more unlucky then lucky, sadly. And it went family and friends-wide, which sucks even more! My unlucky incident was that I was involved in a hit and run!!! SERIOUSLY!!! Some jackass in a white van hit me and took off! And, as I was in a horrible section of Philadelphia at the time (34th and Grey's Ferry) there was no damn way I was getting out of the car!! But, thankfully, there was not too much damage done to my car. It will need a new light casing and a paint job, and there's a small crack in the body. I'm just pissed that A. someone actually had the nerve to drive away and B. now I am stuck with the bill for fixing my car since the jackass didn't stop and take some responsibility.

Although in that section of Philly, it was likely a crackhead behind the wheel anyway. :-P

Feh.

So, Marla and Steve's wedding is a week from today!!! At this time next week they will be married and we will all be dancing at their reception! We spent part of yesterday getting all of their centerpieces, bar stuff, bathroom baskets and such packed up and ready to take to the caterer! Holy crap! I can't believe that after all these months of planning that it's here! I wonder if I will feel the same way when it's my turn in a little over four months.

However, in the continued streak of bad luck, Marla and Steve got the news that their officiant for the wedding was just diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer at the age of 26. She is starting an aggressive treatment plan right away and most likely will not be able to perform the ceremony for Marla and Steve. They are not so much worried about their wedding problems but more worried for this young girl who they have really grown to like. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she starts this battle.

Again, it just makes me think of how lucky we all are, even if my luck peeks out from a blanket of complete crap right now. My sister is about to marry not only the one she loves, but the one with enough patience to put up with her! ;-) In a few months, I'll get to do the same thing, and I'll gain a group of amazing people that come with Pete that I'll get to call my family! I already have an amazingly supportive, wonderful- if slightly strange- family of my own. We all had someplace warm to be during the snowstorm. It's not perfect- it's never going to be perfect. And sometimes, something happens that makes my heart so heavy, I don't think I'll ever be the same again. But, you can't understand the good without experiencing the bad, and in the end, we are lucky.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Every day is a winding road...I get a little bit closer...


Well, first, I would like to congratulate Michelle on the purchase of her new Cricut, which, as only the truly sick crafters know, is am amazing piece of genius that will, truly, change her life! Yay Cricut!

So, thankfully, today is Wednesday, Hump Day as it's known, and I can get over to the other side of the mountain that is this week. I'm feeling a little more like a normal person today, even though so far, there's been two episodes of crappiness this week and we all know bad things come in threes. So I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop! Still, I feel better today.

Someone told me that I take things too much to heart. I know that that's true, I"ve always been the overly-sensitive one- for God's sake, my parents had to ban me from watching the news when I was yonger because I would get so upset! And there's a part of me that kind of luxuriates in melodrama- a good cry is the best luxury ever sometimes, and if you can cry over movies, books, new stories, and the occasional commercial, well, good for you!

But, the only problem with that is that when the sadness leaks into the real world, and terrible things happen to you or, worse, the people you love, well, you tend to feel it even more. And a lot of bad news in a short amount of time can be devestating to the overly-sensitive.

That said, there is an advantage to be overly-sensitive, and it is something I am a little bit pleased that I have within me (I know, I said something good about myself. Try not to faint.). Here's why. Most people watch the news or hear a sad story and think "Wow. That news/story/book/commerical was sad." and move on about their day. I think that maybe, being overly-sensitive makes me see the sad story or news and want to do something to make it not sad. I don't have alot to offer the world, I'm smart enough to be aware of that. But, sometimes, I have been able to help in some way, and even if I can't make something not sad, I can help ease the sadness. And the part of my heart that gets the wear and tear is balanced out by the other part that feels...well...good when I can do something.

And, there you have it! A defense of the overly-sensitive! Just don't tell me if you don't agree with it, you might make me cry... ;-)

Monday, February 11, 2008

Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way...give us faith so we'll be safe

Please, please, keep these people close to your heart and pray for them in whatever means you use to speak to God,

Greg- Please pray for Greg today while he undergoes a brain biopsy. Keep him safe from harm and allow the doctors to safely perform this surgery and lead them to the answers as to why he is sick. Pray for Shelly, who loves him so much and has been so strong, give her a little more strength to get through the day, the week, and whatever else is to come. Keep their girls, Sarah, Riley, and Emilia in your heart.

Reggie- My friend Reggie, who I first met when I was 12, lost his beautiful daughter Kaela DeJesus on Feb. 8th. She was the same age I was when I met Reggie. I can not even begin to comprehend this loss, and will never understand how something like this could happen. Any idiot could see how much Reg loves his kids- it's like he's almost in wonder of how he could have created them (although anyone who's been on the recieving end of one of Reg's encouraging, sweet e-mails can see clearly how his kids would be great!). Keep him in your thoughts while we all try to make sense of such a horrible thing.

Children facing hardships- So, everyone knows I work in a children's hospital. And the thing people ask me the most is "Isn't that sad?". And the answer, most of the time, is no. Most of the time, my job is about little miracles happening every single day, like seeing a child who took a bullet to the head as a two year old go home to her family, just as sassy, funny, and alive as can be. Sometimes though, it gets to me, and this weekend has been one of those times, as I held an infant who was betrayed by the person who is supposed to care for him the most.

Also be sure to pray for the people around you, so when things like this happen, they can find the solace they need.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

...and even though I know the river is wide, I walk down every evening and stand on the shore..

Billy Joel was SOOOO right! The river is wide!

But, here I am on the shore, just like he said. Weird.

Thankfully, I promise not to drown myself in it! It's been a crazy week of both good and bad. I don't feel like I'm drowning in the river so much as kayaking upstream. That said, I know some of the most important people in my life feel that way, too, so I should count my own personal blessings.

Starting with the good news, Pete and I booked our honeymoon! I am so excited! We will be going to Punta Cana, and not only will it be our honeymoon, it will be our first real trip anywhere! In fact, it will be the first time we've spent more then two uninterrupted days together!

We also picked our ketubah (wedding contract) and soon we will get to do our cake tasting- the thing that tipped the scales in favor of a wedding as far as I am concerned! Mmmmm...cake...

Not that my heifer ass needs any cake. I have been to the gym every day this week so far, but I keep falling off the wagon when it comes to getting some control over my cravings. You'd think the thought of parading around in, oh, a GOD DAMN WEDDING DRESS would motivate me to not be such a cow, but that's not keeping the Skittles out of my mouth for some reason. But, all I can do is work on it and hope for the best.

My cousin Meri is having some elective surgery tomorrow, it's actually really exciting for her, but surgery is sugery and let's all keep her in our prayers that is all goes well for her tomorrow.

My (almost) brother-in-law Greg will have a biopsy done of his brain on Monday. It's all pretty scary and weird, but hopefully this will help the doctors know exactly what is making Greg feel so crappy, and even though it's a horrible way to go about it, they can learn what they are dealing with and get him back to his old self. So keep him, along with Shelly and his daughters, in your prayers.

I feel like this is such a strange time, so much happiness and sadness and hope andf worry. I think that the only way to make sure it's all alright is to hold onto each other as hard as we can, to keep faith and believe in whatever your faith and beliefs might be with all of your heart, and to prepare for the best and frankly, expect the best.

Monday, February 4, 2008

"I got something to say, you know, but nothing comes..."

So, how can it only be Monday and it's already the longest week ever?

Oh, well, at least I have my sweet potato victory to cheer me up! I'll tell you, watching the girls eat those sandwiches, it was hard not to just crack up in their face and go "Yooooooooooooooou're eating something heeeeeeeeealthy! SUCK ON THAT!!!!!" I can't tell if that attitude means I've been a nanny for too long, or not long enough.

Actually, I know the answer to that. I've been a nanny for too long. This was supposed to be an interem job while I decided to make a decision about what I wanted to do after I left Cooper. But, I got A. emotionally involved and B. lazy from having a mostly fun job that pays very well. After Pete and I got engaged, it seemed like staying at that job was the right thing to do- I was living at home again, so my bills were smaller and my salary was alot bigger. I've been able to save up and pay for alot of the wedding and save for our own place.

But, I've been there for two years, and I think this will be the last of them. I love my girls, but being a caretaker in this way isn't how I want to spend the rest of my life, even if they pay is great. But, the only problem is, I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up!

Aw, crap. I am a grown up. Well, damn it. But, it really is getting to be a problem. I don't want to go back to school aimlessly. I don't want to do the job I hav enow forever. But I don't know what job I WOULD want to do forever. And I know I wouldn't want to be a stay-at-home mom. I like working too much. It's such a circular thought process, and I keep going around.

But, that said, I know I'll get there, and in the meantime, I have fun things to look forward to, like Marla and Steve's wedding, booking our honeymoon, spending some time with an old friend, and trying to stick to my goal to be healthy and in shape. I am hoping that the rest of my goals, and what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life, will fall into place!

Victory is mine! (A post also seen at The Adventures of Ellie and Anna!)

Thanks to this:


Ellie and Anna are eating this!:










But to them, it looks like this!!!!!:




Please excuse me while I engage in some victorious, manical laughter!! BAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!